Holy Crap

I was in the grocery store the other day and noticed this breakfast cereal with the name “Holy Crap” on it.  I chuckled to myself as I decided to try it and put it in my basket. 

The young cashier and I chatted briefly as she scanned my groceries.  “I put your package of Holy Crap in the bag under your buns,” she announced.

“Okay,” I said, hoping no one was listening.

“I don’t know why they call this cereal Holy Crap,” she said.  “Why would you call it something like that?”

I laughed.  “Well, when you get to be my age, you’ll probably understand why.”

I could not stop laughing as I left the store.

But there is a serious side to this…

Sometimes unprocessed emotions from our experiences hurt others.  And sometimes unprocessed emotions from our experiences hurt ourselves… 

I am constantly amazed at people who do not see the need to look at their previous emotional trauma…at their “emotional crap” as some like to term it.  They think that “the past should stay in the past”, that God doesn’t care about it, and that it is not related in any way to health issues.  But God cares deeply about our emotional crap.

A woman who is working through some trauma in her life came in for an appointment.  When I asked how she was doing, she talked about a chronic bowel problem that had, once again, flared up.  She had been dealing with it for over forty years.

“When did this health condition begin?” I asked.

She didn’t have to ponder about it.  She immediately responded, “When I was pregnant with my first child.” 

Feeling there was a connection between her health condition and when it started, I asked her if we could pray about it.  As usual, we invited the Holy Spirit into the conversation and asked that she turn off her brain and open her heart.  She began to tell me about the first experience of pain in her bowel. 

“We were at a function and my side started hurting tremendously.  I was afraid that I was losing the baby.  After being taken to Emergency, they told me everything was okay.”

“Let’s pray and return to that memory,” I said gently.  “What feelings are you experiencing?”

Tears started to slide down her face.  “I feel guilt…relief…and shame…,” she said slowly as each emotion slowly surfaced.

Minutes passed as her eyes closed.  Her body tensed and recoiled as the tears continued to fall.

I knew immediately what had happened that day, but I knew she needed to say it.  It had been haunting her and her body for over forty years.  It was an issue that many experience, but few talk about.

“And you were feeling guilty because…,” I said softly, waiting for the response.

Moments passed.  “I wasn’t ready to have a baby,” she said, almost choking on the words.

“You were hoping for a miscarriage…”

“Yes!” she said, as years of guilt and shame flooded the room.

We waited a few minutes before praying further.  “And what decisions did your heart make that day?”

“I’m not meant to be a mother…I have to suffer for wanting to miscarry…I deserve to be punished…”

And she has suffered from the chronic bowel problem and punished herself ever since.

The tears continued to flow as she broke off the beliefs and vows she had made and asked the One who had made her and who had made her child for forgiveness.

“I feel like this room is half full of tears,” she sighed.

“Well, spiritually, it is…” I said.

Yes…some say there is no connection between our health issues and our past experiences.

You decide.